http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=in_a_romantic_fashion8

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=in_a_romantic_fashion8

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=in_a_romantic_fashion8

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so i've been thinking a lot!

i have only a week and a half to spend with my mom&brother before they move away.i'll be gone next weekend and she's gone this weekend so it's more like 4-5 days or so. I'll be at practice all next week until 6:45 then i'll probably want to get to bed asap. I'm sad and I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I don't have the person I feel close to, here with me.

I'm sort of tempted to not go the the hockey tournament next weekend because it's my mom's birthday on Friday and well seeing how I won't be seeing her everyday I want to see her as much as I can before she moves.

As far as friends go, I don't know who is and who isn't a friend. Enough said there.

                                 " I'm sure I've made a mistake"

                 It's like having to live without lungs. It's too impossible

and you might as well have pulled my heart out of my chest

                      the moment that you said you'd be leaving

so now i'm afraid that i made the wrong decision

                                       to not accompany you on your journey

who will i have when i already feel alone when you're here?

             Once again I blinded myself with the thoughts that things would clear up and perhaps I'd have a shot at gaining something

but i've gained nothing but fear that i won't be living soon after you've gone

           so basically i'm walking around not hearing a damn thing

 because i've got no guidance

and my vocal chords are wrectched out

     cause i choked back the tears too  long          so maybe i made the wrong choice

          i'm afraid and it's impossible to breath with the thought of you being gone.

©Natasha Lynette Reed 2005

i hate having to make decisions.     

lacrosse,friends & holland,finishing up junior&senior year @ wo  

vs.   

moving,new friends perhaps,being with my mom&brother who i'm so dependent on, lacrosse next year on the other side of the state and who knows what else.

               ......Every Night's Another Story [I<3 this song]....

Make your way down the face
Of everything we know
Go so far see other places and
Other people I won't know about

And breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear it's all my fault again
I know why no one else knows
why I'm here all alone again

make it sound so good that
I won't be right and I walk alone tonight
outside my house and outside my mind
no matter what I say I'm never right

Breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear it's all my fault again
I know why no one else knows
Why I'm here all alone again

Breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear... GO GO GO!
[x2]

Breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear me just GO GO GO!

(Breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear... GO GO GO!)
Well I will wait for you for days
Well I will wait for you for days
Well I will wait for you forever

Currently Playing Two Lefts Don't Make a Right.. But Three Do By Relient K -Over Thinking- , perfectly intertwined into how i am right now! see related

 i suppose i've been fooled quite well this time

i'm  the preacher saying God will let us all into Heaven but I lied 

     I'm the writer who gives you a story that makes you feel alive but the last page shoves you back to real life.

          I'm the doctor saying everything on your chart looks fine but later down the road your family wonders how you died

             i guess it must have been the mistrust that killed you in the end

or perhaps the liars you met along the road

       it could be a combination of those and friends saying they'd be there

in your moments of defeat.

              But I can't go back to when the play button hypnotized my index finger to push it in

        the rewind button is jammed once again       

so i'm shit out of luck.             so much for the terms you gave out of being there forever

and i knew i should've doubted that you'd stand true.

©natasha reed 2005

I give up.